One of the most fulfilling experiences which we can go through in life is a relationship. This is where you develop emotional feelings for someone else and through deliberate action, get close to them. Eventually, you propose partnership and officially declare that you are seeing them. Relationships can be sources of joy, support, knowledge and satisfaction. Seeing as nobody is perfect, some of us make mistakes which end even the most passionate relationships. Are you in one and want it to last for a lifetime? Here are 10 secrets to build a healthy, strong and loving relationship.
Get silent and listen
When an argument emerges between you and your partner, it is often because of a difference in opinion. Thus, each partner in the relationship approaches the argument with a solid mindset that they intend to defend as loudly as possible. This is not how to go about it. To foster a healthy relationship, simply get silent and listen to your partner's opinion. This gives them a chance to express themselves as well as they can. They might even end up revealing something about themselves more honestly than the initially intended. This gives you a clearer picture of your partner leading to more understanding between you. Regularly giving each other a good listen leads to a healthy, strong and loving relationship.
Utilize the Tell Culture
Strong bonds are created when you expose your innermost and most personal nature to your partner. Many people are very afraid to do this for their partners let alone the world around them. To create a strong bond with your partner and increase the chances of your relationship lasting, you can use the Tell Culture. This is where you become open with your partner about the thoughts and feelings which you have. You strive to become open, honest, authentic and vulnerable. If you feel that you need a hug, simply tell your partner. Maintain this with your partner and encourage them to do the same. Over time, you will both open up to each other and utilize the Tell Culture to get closer and foster a healthier relationship.
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Listen between the lines through emotional attunement
Words can be used to express or even hide emotion. Sometimes, your partner can tell you something yet their emotions seem to indicate exactly the opposite of what they are saying. For example, you can ask your partner if they are okay and they can say yes with a trembling or stuttering voice. In doing so, they automatically indicate that they are not okay but want to show you strength. Noticing this situation is emotional attunement. When you listen to your partner, practice this form of attention. Assess body language to see when your partner's words and emotions are not matching up.
Relationships are about giving and taking. The partners in the relationship should take turns in providing resources, emotion and material things. This means that sometimes you may have to overlook your own satisfaction so that your partner can experience theirs. In doing so, you are compromising. Problems can emerge if you find that you are the one who is always compromising while your partner only does so rarely. While you may love them dearly, you have to take care of yourself. This means that you should strive for an equal relationship where each partner compromises. Do not suffer under the burden of sacrificing constantly for your partner. Talk to them about compromise and reach a middle ground so as to foster a healthy relationship.
Communicate with your partner
The most important factor in every relationship is communication. More than anything else, it determines the survival rate of the partnership. To create a long lasting relationship, you need to honestly express yourself and voice your feelings or concerns. This should be done no matter how deep or personal the issue is. Communication needs to be done often, openly and directly. Do not wait for an argument to emerge so that you can tell your partner about how their habits bug you. Do it when you notice the habit and be assertive through the process.
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Pick your battles wisely
When a couple begins to live together, they discover that it is much more difficult that anyone ever told them. While you may love each other dearly, it is very difficult for you to live together without clashing. There are little things that your partner could do that bug you until you are angry. At such a point, you have to decide if the little problem is worth a huge argument or it is something that you can overlook. To keep a relationship healthy, you should pick your battles and save your energy for things that matter such as discussions about finances, kids or career options.
Understand that every person is different
There is a long standing myth of having the perfect soul-mate. Single people dream of a partner who is exactly like them, likes the things that they do and fits the profile of their dream mate. When they fall for someone and discover that their partner is nowhere near their dream mate, the relationship begins to suffer. To foster a long lasting one, you have to understand that you can't be exactly the same. Your partner will have some qualities which are very different from your own. Examples of these are opinions about politics, how to raise children or money. These differences make relationships interesting and expose you to a whole new way of seeing the world.
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Understand that your partner is not perfect
You may want your partner to do all the things that you envision a romantic relationship to have. While they may make an effort to do some of them, they can fall short. If they do, understand that they are trying. In addition to that, they may make small mistakes along the way. When they do, inform them that they have made an error and forgive. This will make your partner also forgive you when you make a mistake. Moreover, this will create a firm foundation for forgiveness in case major mistakes are performed in the future of the relationship.
Explain your “Whys”
Everyone has a reason why they do what they prefer. While couples may consider themselves as one after marriage, they are still individuals. As such, each person will do what they find valuable to them. This will be done even if the other does not normally like it. If the difference in preferences is drastic enough, things will be done in secret. Eventually, this hurts the relationship. As such, if you do something and your partner does not approve, try to explain why you did it. Maybe they will understand and let you keep going. Otherwise, they will disagree with the “Why” but create boundaries so that you do not infringe on their preferences while pursuing your desires. This is how to foster a long lasting relationship.
Appreciate life together while you still have the strength to
Father Time is always present. You are growing old and so is your partner. As such, take the time to appreciate each other and do things together whenever you can in the early and middle stages of the relationship. This is because when you grow elderly, you have less energy and possibly some health conditions which prevent full enjoyment of your favorite activities. As such, appreciate life together to create happiness in your relationship and make it last long.
The Important Take Away
Relationships can be very fulfilling. They can show your real identity and turn you into a better form of yourself. This is only if the relationship is healthy and lasts long. The tips above can help you to make yours fulfilling and long lasting. They are important gems to apply in your relationship so as to experience a long, joyous one.