Failure is scary for many people. When we fail at something, we feel like our world is falling apart, and there is nothing good going on in our lives anymore. We focus on the negatives, and start questioning ourselves, “Am I not good enough?” “What did I do wrong?”
While this type of thinking is common, there are also many positive aspects to failing. When we fail, we see where we stand, understand our mistakes, and learn from the errors that we’ve made. We advance quicker and enlarge our perspectives. Our determination increases, and our willpower strengthens.
Even if failing seems scary at first, we must learn to accept it, and embrace it. We must realize that giving up is inefficacious. We must move forward if we truly want to succeed in life. Here are seven tips on how to handle failure and realize that moving on is crucial:
The first step to overcoming negative feelings is accept them. If you are unable to take responsibility for your actions, you are never going to move on and start a better life. Accepting things as they are is therefore crucial. Embrace the mistakes you’ve made, and congratulate yourself for being so strong. Keep in mind:
- You do not control everything in your life, and that is totally fine. There is no need to. Life is beautiful as it is, and you should live every single moment like it’s your last one. Criticizing every wrong decision that you make will only demoralize you. You can’t change the past, and you shouldn’t. Learn from it, and don’t repeat your mistakes. This is how you evolve.
- Be realistic. You made mistakes. OK, can’t change that, but what can you change? Are there any life lessons you took out of the situation?
- Realize that it takes time and effort to become strong, and you are exactly where you need to be. A wise friend once told me, “We need to die first in order to live.” Don’t take that literally, but understand the message. Becoming better takes strength and patience.
Accepting things as they are will change your life. Before starting to work on anything else, work on acceptance. It’s the most important step of the process.
Be Honest with Yourself
You can lie to others, but you should never lie to yourself. Being honest sets you free! You failed – why? Can you think of at least three causes? Where did you get stuck? Here are some quick tips on how to become honest with yourself:
- Write your thoughts down. Keep a journal. You don’t have to note down everything, only the highlights of your day. What are your goals for today? How are you going to accomplish them? And most importantly, why?
- Ask for help when necessary. We might be too proud to do that sometimes, but that’s never smart. Asking for feedback or help from the right people is a good thing. It means we accept that we are stuck, and we want to evolve.
- Remind yourself to be honest. Staying true to yourself is a continuous process. If you are not used to telling the truth, remind yourself daily that you have to.
- Imagine the future. How does your future look like in this moment? Do you think you can succeed with your current mentality, or are there things that you must change? If the answer to the latter questions is “there are,” write them down, and start evolving.
Make “I am honest with myself” your life motto! It will help, I promise.
Focusing on the negative will drain your energy, and make you feel sorry for yourself; therefore, it will not help at all. Here are some things you should focus on:
- Be kind with yourself, don’t use negative self-talk. You now accepted your mistakes and embraced them. You were honest when realizing what actions you could’ve improved. That’s enough. No need to make yourself feel bad for your failure.
- Watch a good comedy, or talk with a funny friend. Taking life seriously is not worth it sometimes – nobody gets out alive anyways.
- Meditate, or practice some yoga. Live the present instead of focusing on the past. Work with your thoughts, and slowly transition to an optimistic mindset.
Thinking positively does not mean ignoring facts. Be realistic when evaluating yourself, but don’t put such a big emphasis on the negatives.
Stick Around the Right People
One of my favorite Jim Rohn quotes is, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Think about it: if you surround yourself with pessimistic people, you’ll become one.
If you haven’t yet, evaluate your friend circle and see who truly deserves to remain in your life. If it there’s only one friend left after the “general cleaning,” that’s perfectly OK too – at least you know you can always rely on them, no matter what, and that’s everything that counts at the end of the day.
Keep Yourself Motivated
Now that you’ve accepted your mistakes, it’s time to move forward. You are finally here – the greatest moment of your life. It’s time to try again. “But how?” one might ask. This is where motivation comes into place.
- Leave expectations aside, and focus solely on the present. Don’t think about “what could happen if I do this or that.” If you feel like it’s the right decision, go with your intuition.
- Read and watch motivational books/movies. It’s always great to have someone tell you that you can make it. Even if you already realized that for yourself, there are times when hearing it from someone else makes the message more powerful.
- Map out a plan of your goals and think about what you want to achieve in the long-run. What’s the answer to your why question?
- When you feel like giving up, think about your why, and continue working hard towards your goal.
Keeping yourself motivated is crucial to moving forward with your life. Be strong, and don’t let negative thoughts affect you.
As I previously mentioned, improving constantly is the only way to climb the success ladder. You are working on your motivation, and that is already amazing. But who’s ever succeeded in life without perseverance?
Do you know how many times Thomas Edison has failed before creating the lightbulb? At least a thousand. But do you know what his perception on that was? “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Take Time for Yourself
Last but not least, make sure you care about yourself. Concentrating solely on success and forgetting about yourself might slowly drive you insane. Take time to read what you like, enjoy good times with your friends, and have good laughs with your family. Loving yourself is where life starts.
Move forward with your life by accepting your mistakes, stay true to yourself, learn from your mistakes, think positively, surround yourself with the right people, and take time to love yourself. You got this!
About the author
Joe McLean is one of the most popular assignment writers worldwide. His books on how to approach life have had a powerful impact on many readers. Currently, Chris is residing in Lima, Peru, running a rehabilitation center, and improving the lives of many patients.